Working from home has been a study in context shifting for me. Prior to the pandemic, I had a 45-minute commute to slowly shed my frenetic work energy and shift into parenting mode. Upon walking in the door, I was ready to hear about my husband’s day or put on the appropriate parenting face for my middle schooler’s mood.
Now that I’m working from home, I have a 30-second walk between my office and the living room which is not nearly enough time to shift out of work mode and into a ferociously energy consuming after-school routine. And to compound the problem, my “home life” tends to show up at my office door at least an hour before I disconnect, leaving me with my attention pulled in two directions.
I would describe the energy I use to manage my team and workload as merry intensity. But, as I shift contexts into family life, that same energy is perceived by my loved ones as unwelcome urgency. My husband once reminded me as I barged out of my office enthusiastically giving them direction: “Stacy, we don’t report to you, remember?”
Recognizing that my poor transition was costing me a peaceful evening, I experimented with creating a new ritual to make the shift more gracefully. First, I protect the end of my day by blocking the last thirty minutes of my calendar for tying up loose ends. This helps reduce the chance I have to transition directly from a high stakes meeting into my family time. Secondly, on a post-it note, I write down those urgent work-related items most likely to rob my peace of mind post-transition. I fold the note up and put it in a mason jar, marked “NOT NOW” to set the intention to put work aside until the next day. Lastly, I do a 10-minute guided meditation to downshift my energy into something more mellow. It has made a big difference.
If you want to create your own transition routine, here are a few tips:
Keep your office door closed until you are done (literally or figuratively). Lovingly remind your family that 100% of your attention in thirty minutes is more valuable than half your attention now.
Pick a transition ritual that requires a shift in mental processing. I’m experimenting with meditation, but exercise, music, or doing a crossword puzzle may be best for you.
Enlist your family in supporting the habit. Tell them what you are doing and why it's likely to benefit them.
Don’t miss twice. The likelihood of perfectly completing the ritual every day is low. So instead of beating yourself up, commit to a restart the next day.
If you consistently find yourself skipping your transition ritual, ask yourself: What’s the smallest way I can honor this intention that may be more sustainable? Just taking a few breaths and acknowledging how you want to experience your evening can go a long way.
Whether you have an hour commute or you are walking down a hallway, think about how you want to intentionally shift gears. It can be a game changer for you and your loved ones.
MindFrame, LLC delivers leadership and career coaching, team facilitation and keynote presentations to help you create change for good.
Custom services can be conducted at your organization or virtually.